Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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