if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ketchup is God's man juice
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
