i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
this is an emotional support booty call
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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