I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
