Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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