i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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