i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night