this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
