Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
