The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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