Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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