I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
