i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
