i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
