Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
