this beer tastes like vomit already
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
