guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
