I hate your face
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
