why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
