What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
