And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
