yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize