Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
