Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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