I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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