I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
