I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
