if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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