While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
