cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
