Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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