Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize