Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
