So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
