His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
