now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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