Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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