I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
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Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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