never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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