Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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