yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
