and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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