Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
