i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
