I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
