haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
