Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
