She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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