I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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