Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
