one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
