i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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