i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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