yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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