elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
