Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
