Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
