Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
