One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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