I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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