he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
send nudes
from the living room?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
